Energy Vampires

According to the Law of Attraction we are to feel good in order to attract good things. I have found a few challenges with this. Especially when Energy Vampires are involved. Who is an Energy Vampire? Those people that make you feel drained every time you are with them or even spend just a few minutes talking to them. They are full of gossip, negativity, criticism, blame, judgement, drama, etc.

We all have problems, but these people don't care about your problems. They just want to tell you about theirs. Not only that, but they do not care about finding a solution either. They use your time and energy to share their woes, but nothing is ever done to improve the situation.

It is usually recommended to stay away from that person. What if that is not always possible? Worse that person is sucking away good energy so that you can't use the Law of Attraction in your favor. Then you feel that you have to start from square one to get yourself in a good mood again.

So what do you do if you can't remove these Energy Vampires from your life?

• First, after making sure there is just no way you can avoid this person, start setting your limits. Decide what you will no longer tolerate from this person. You can tell this person, "I will listen to you for 3 minutes only if you will take my advice on a solution or you yourself come up with a solution after your 3 minutes are up". If they get angry and decide not to talk to you any longer or spend time with you because you do no let them suck you dry, then better for you.
• Set boundaries. For example, you let the person know they are no longer able to pop in whenever they please. They can call first and if you are up to it then fine. Or if you need to go to a different room do so. Also, if the other person is over stepping her boundaries by getting into your business or being insulting, you let the person know that you are not tolerating it.
• Use "I" statements. " I get angry when you show up without calling first to check if I am busy or not."
• If you are tired, hungry, ill, stressed, or under pressure do your best to avoid Energy Vampires at all cost because they will deplete you further.

Eventually the Energy Vampires will stop calling because you no longer humor them. So this gives you the time & energy to meet more positive, loving, healthier, like minded people. Which makes you more positive so you will start to see better results in attracting your desires. Don't worry the Energy Vampires will find others to humor them, they will not be alone. Remember misery loves company. You do not have time for that. You have goals, desires and needs and can't afford it.

Please note that there might come a time when negative people do not affect you anymore. In fact, you make them more positive just by your presence. The above techniques have helped me in those situations where my positive energy is not making things better.

Five Keys To Success

"Why should we be in such a desperate haste to succeed and in such desperate enterprises? If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music he hears, however measured or far away."

                                -Henry David Thoreau





There are a few things that have helped me be successful in achieving goals and I will share them with you.

1. Learn to listen to your emotions and release them in a healthy way. When you are experiencing any negative emotion it is difficult to focus on your goals and it is impossible to attract a good outcome. In fact, negative emotions will only magnetize more things that will cause you to experience those bad feelings. However, be realistic and patient with yourself. Having emotions is being human, appropriate in many cases, and also a necessity.
2. Don't compare yourself to others. There will always be someone who is doing better, looking better and has more than you. You can't be number one at everything. You are on a different path than anyone else, and the key is to learn what that path is. Do not let your ego lead you astray. Your ego will tell you that you must get more, do more, be more because you do not measure up to others. However, your spirit will tell you that you are on a different path following a "different drummer." You are number one at one thing for sure. And that is in being you. There is no one else like you in this world. Learn to be the best you that you could be.
3. Have goals, but don't be so attached to them that you ignore the happiness that every day could bring. Most people are only happy until they reach a goal and to top it off it is only short lived. This is why people who make goals are always looking for what is next as soon as they reach it. The rush of happiness they get when achieving their goal quickly dissipates. Life seems gloomy and hard when you do not notice every day reasons to be happy. Life is what happens when you are busy making plans.
4. Take baby steps. Many people want to achieve their goals so bad that they try to sprint instead of taking baby steps. But in order to achieve success you have to take baby steps. When we see successful people we assume they became that way overnight. However, that is not the case. Every day they took baby steps to get themselves to where they are today. But people who do not realize this, try to go from point A to point Z without taking all of the baby steps in the middle. Not only is this overwhelming, stressful, and potentially dangerous, but also counterproductive.
5. Be selective as to who you spend your time with. Many success coaches say that we are the equivalent of the five people we spend most of our time with. This makes sense when you consider that when we are with someone we give them some of our energy and take some of theirs in return. This is called Phase Entanglement. If you spend much of your time with negative people who have no interest in improving their life and rather spend their time blaming external circumstances for what is not working, you will have the same negative energy resonance that they have which will only repel your desires from you.

Look to this day
For yesterday is but a dream,
and tomorrow is only a vision,
But today, well lived,
Makes every yesterday a dream
of happiness
An every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day.

- Sanskirt proverb

Tips for Life Improvement

The following are the first steps I recommend to people who say they are willing to do what it takes to improve their lives; to be their best selves and live the best life.

• Don't let present challenges bring you down and keep you from pursuing your goals. I agree that when you are putting out fires sometimes you end up being too drained to think about pursuing goals and dreams. However, I have learned that in order to move beyond the challenges you can't let go of your aspirations. When you lose faith in yourself and in accomplishing your dreams, you have less energy to enjoy in life. Which keeps you stuck where you are. It also makes you develop a feeling of hopelessness and helplessness.
• Learn to use your challenges and transform them into something positive. We all go through obstacles from time to time, they are part of life. But are you going to let hard times get the better of you or are you going to make some lemonade from the lemons? I read a story in Dr. Laura Schlessinger's book, Bad Childhood Good Life , about a woman complaining to her mother about her hard life. She was tired and wanted to give it all up. The mother then took the daughter to the kitchen and put three pots with water and food items to boil. One of them had and egg, the second one had carrots, and the third pot had coffee beans. After half an hour of boiling the items, the mother asked the daughter what she had learned. The daughter did not understand what she was referrring to. The mother explained,"..each of the three foodstuffs had been exposed to the same challenge: boiling water. The carrots went in strong and sturdy and then turned to mush. The egg went in fragile and ultimately turned hard. And the coffee beans changed the hot water around them-producing a wonderful aroma and a delight to the taste buds. 'So, my darling daughter, when the hour is the darkest and the trials are the greatest, how do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot that loses its strenght? Are you the egg that becomes tough and hardened? Are you the coffee bean that influences the universe in a positive, hopeful way?'
• Get a support group. Often times when you are ready for something new or to grow the people who you least expect hold you back. Although most of them have good intentions, they still keep you from being the best you can be. I recommend you start finding like minded friends to help you through your new journey. These people will give you higher energy advice and help think outside of the box. You may ask low energy people for advice, but it could be fearful, biased, negative and destructive. Not necessarily because they want to hurt you, but because they do not know any better. People who are serious about being their best and living their best life, surround themselves with the a positive support group that will help them through their journey.

"Be more in charge of the people you surround yourself with and invest yourself in. Choose groups and individuals who help you be and do your best, not wallow in negativity. Only hang around people who for the most part- nobody's perfect-live the kind of life which you aspire. Surround yourself with good people, even if they are not your family. Avoid bad influences like the bubonic plague."

                                 - Dr. Laura Shlessinger

Basic Tips For Teens

The following are important things to consider for the day.

• It is very easy for people to get caught up in little things such as a comment a peer might have made or a bad hair day. But if you think about it, the small stuff wont matter in a few years, months and sometimes even days from now.

• We all experience challenges in life, unfortunately that is how we sometimes best learn the lessons we are here on earth to learn. We could read about things in a book or hear it through a friend, but sometimes we just wont get it until it happens to us. And if you do not get it the first time the lesson will come again. The lesson could be learning to set healthy boundaries. Maybe it could be to learn to be your authentic self. Or you are meant to learn that lashing out on people when you are angry is not the best way to handle things.

• This is the time to discover your special gifts, talents and passions. When we follow our soul we are much happier in life. Too many of us spent years doing what we disliked because instead of listening to our soul we followed the money or copied what our friends were doing. We are all unique individuals and we all have different callings. When you do what you love, the money will follow. Find out which is yours by taking the time to experiment with different hobbies, sports, and subjects. You can spend some time at the library and see what books you are drawn to. Or try out a sport you are curious about.

• Focus on positive thoughts, I am sure you have heard this before, but are you actually doing it? This was the biggest factor that changed my life as a teen. Believe me, I had much to feel negative about, but dwelling on it only kept me stuck where I was. Once I started thinking positive thoughts things started shifting for me in a really good way.

• Be persistent. If you do not get something the first time keep trying until you do. Some things are easier for one person, but hard for another. It does not mean you can't do it, it just means that it will take more effort. In my experience math was hard for me when I was in elementary and junior high. But I did not give up and spent extra time on the subject. By the time I was a senior in high school I was taking calculus and trigonometry. I had the top grades in my class and impressed many teachers by solving problems they did not think anyone could solve. I was like that guy in the movie Good Will Hunting; many emotional issues, but brilliant. I even tutored other students after school. Keep in mind that in elementary and junior high I was put in basic classes because I was considered not so very bright, to put it in a nice way. So if I can do it under the conditions I was living in at home, you can do it too.

Seeds of Unconditional Love

I found a beautiful poem in a book called Pearls of Wisdom that I would like to share with you. It is my hope that you enjoy it as much as I did and also use it as a reminder of your magnificence. Especially on the days when you feel down and things in life are looking gloomy.


You are like a small, delicate, yet exquisitely
beautiful and rare purple flower. None other
of its kind in the world, growing behind
and shaded by a large rock up the top of a
mountain, where no one can see it. Those
who stumble upon its unique beauty are
rewarded in the treasure found.

Use this knowledge wisely.
Be guided.
Be not afraid, for you are protected by the
golden sword and the all-pervading light of
truth and love.

Use the tools I have given to you.
Love serves all.
Love serves self and others.
I serve you because you serve me.
You are my delicate flower.
Open up to your true beauty and potential.

Don't make a slave of yourself serving the
foolisih ego and not me.
I love you.
Surrender your heart to the Lord above,
merge with The Oneness and The Light.
Let go to Love, it will guide you.
It will serve you well.

All is yours out of the great love I have for
you and all my children.
All is yours to share in benediction and love
and blessings, kindly embracing each other
with our united hearts' embrace.

Sweet, delicate, blossoming one
-struggle not, but flow.
The gushing tide cannot be stopped
with fear or grief or restlessness
but will take us on to new pastures and valleys,
and will flow into new rivers.

The tides of love carry you not because I wish
to thwart you but because you are young and
growing and have not the wisdom to see with
clarity the things I see and know.

Love is my hand.
Take it and walk with me, our hearts united.
Together we will soar free on wings of love.
Loves sweet embrace, loves tender, exotic
fragrance,dewdrops of joy and peace, they
are yours and they are mine if you are willing
to accept and be led by me.
Joy, freedom, peace, love and bliss
-bathe in the sunlight of these heartfelt
emotions-my heartfelt promise to you.

All are found in silence, in prayer, in praise,
in giving and loving, yet one must risk in
order to be free.
One must risk and one must give to have.
One must go out on a limb, put oneself (the
ego) last in order to be first with me.
I love you, you are free, you have worked
hard and I carry you on eagle's wings.
Peace is yours if you trust me completely.

The guardian of the door to your heart is
yourself.
You are free to unlock it at any moment.
Come, travel, see, and shine.
Power and wisdom are yours.
Do not be afraid.
I love you.

I love you so much I will give myself to you.
This I ask of you-to give all yourself to
me and all of yourself to my family.
Our sweet embrace will be pure ecstasy,
the joy of being.
Do not hold back out of fear.
You are protected and will not be harmed.
Nor can you go astray unless you stray from me.

This is why it is so important to be clear, to
have clarity so that you can see and feel my
guiding hand leading you, and so you do
not mistake it. The blind often falter through
lack of faith and trust because they do not
recognize me so they fear me.

Fear not.
There is nothing to fear, you are safe with me.
Don't be fooled into thinking there are evils
out to harm you.
They are my battle not yours.
You do yourself the greatest harm.

Innocence, not naivety or ignorance, is a rare
quality in today's world.
Nurture your innocence, it is your beauty.
You are my child, my beloved child.
Don't try to make anything happen yourself.
Just trust in me that all will be well.
I will guide your steps.
Keep close to me.

You are free.
You are loved and you are cherished.

It is your innocence and playfulness, (insert your name),
that you need to tune into for this is what you
will impart to/teach others. This joy of the
child trusting implicitly in Love-The Father/
Mother God- you will give to others, enticing
them to reach into themselves and tune
into their own playfulness and innocence,
reaching into and gaining strength from their
own vulnerability.

The vulnerable will be protected because they
have the most to give. They do not close it
away, hiding and protecting their treasure so
that no one could share in it. They give freely
and willingly. Sure, they may have been hurt
very badly. It is through their courage to be
willing to open up again and risk it all, that
they will be rewarded abundantly.

The world is a beautiful place.
In your eyes is a sunrise;in your heart a
rainbow of colours; in your smile is the
laughter of many.

In your eyes shines the soul of the earth and
in your tears is the gentle mourning of God.
The entire world is a beautiful place.
Shine your colours, your rainbow colours for
all to see.
On your face are a sunset and a moonrise.
On the shores of your soul are the colours of
the rainbow, the rainbow of all the colours,
united and strong.

You are an instrument of peace;
an instrument of love.
Find your own unique voice;
your own unique colours;
your true, heartfelt presence.

Look within; I reside in your heart,
in 'the heart' of truth.
Follow your heart day-to-day,
moment-to-moment.
All we have is now.
We cannot know what the future will bring,
let alone the next moment.
Contemplate nature to understand this.
Cycles;seasons;change;are the only things of
which we can be sure.

-By Chantal Clearwater, Excerpted from Seeds Of Unconditional Love

 

 

 



                               

 

Why Self-Esteem Is So Important

"I began to understand that self-esteem isn't everything; it's just that there is nothing without it."

                                                 -Gloria Steinem


According the the authors of The Indigo Children, Indigos are born having high self-esteem. I believe that this is true for all children. However, the primary caretakers, home environment, school, teachers, peers, can have a negative effect on the self-esteem of all children.

You may wonder why self-esteem is so important.  Low self-esteem is correlated with the following:

• Epidemic of school dropouts
• Teenage pregnancy
• Domestic violence
• Drug and alcohol addiction
• Child abuse
• Illiteracy
• Learning deficiencies
• Crowded prisons
• Academic underachievement
• Compulsive perfectionism
• Social problems
• Unhealthy relationships with food
• Codepent behaviors
• Dysfunctional romantic relationships
• Abuse (emotional, physical or mental) towards others

The above are only some of the individual and social problems which stem from having low self-esteem. There are many others I have learned during college courses and also that I have discovered through my own experience. The point I want to make is that core self-esteem is of high importance to prevent your child from having any of the problems I listed above. But also so that your child lives a stable, happy, productive and healthy life. It does not matter how brilliant your child is, if he has low self-esteem he will never be able to be the best he could be.

I saw a movie about Marilyn Monroe a few months ago. She was brilliant, but most of her days she was drugged up because she did not like herself very much. There were a few things that the actress who played Marilyn said during the movie that made me believe that Marilyn 's mother and father neglected her and that perhaps that is why she had such low self-esteem. She also dated men who loved her only for her external beauty, but not because of who she really was in the inside. Which only caused Marilyn to feel worse about herself.

At the end of the movie biographers confirmed my beliefs. It turns out that Marilyn was neglected as a child. Norma Jean's (Marilyn's name as a child and before she became a star) mother had severe emotional problems and was not able to be there for her. Norma Jean began to believe that she was invisible. Marilyn was sent to live at an orphanage when her mother was committed to a mental institution. Since Marilyn got lots of attention because of the early maturation of her body, she felt she was now "visible". She knew that externally she was a sexually valuable person.  However, on the inside she felt worthless. And this is what haunted her throughout her short life.

Also, because she did not receive the nurturing she needed as a child, she looked for father figure husbands. Ofcourse all that her husbands offered was neglect. During my research working on healing my own childhood issues, I've learned that even when you are aware of how you were affected as a child and work on changing the situation, your *subconscious remembers past issues for you and brings you the people that reflect your childhood experience. This is why women who come from abusive homes end up marrying an abusive husband. Or people who are emotionally neglected as children end up marrying spouses who are also emotionally unavailable.

Another important point to make is that since Marilyn's childhood experience was one of neglect, she never learned how to be there for herself either. If she would have, she would've protected herself from dating men who only wanted her for her physical appearance. This definitely is something I could relate to in my own childhood and adult dating experience. While my parents did their best, they also had numerous problems of their own and my experience was also one of neglect and emotional unavailability. In my adult life I have dated people who were emotionally unavailable and neglected me, but I also neglected myself in various ways.

In this blog I will be writing a lot about core self-esteem. Because I have been finding out, after about thirty years, that many of my adult problems stem from not developing a core self-esteem. I will explain in a future article what is core self-esteem and why having it is so important.  

 *If you'd like to know how your subconscious keeps you repeating the same experiences as an adult that you had as a child read my article The Law of Attraction and The Subconscious Mind 11/09/12  at www.quantumlifechanges.blogspot.com. 

"The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others, but ourselves as well." - Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Children In Our Society

"False love can take more forms than active fantasy or projection. It may simply be expressed as something missing in one's experience. If you have not been shown loving behavior, you will have no positive images to fill the heart. The cruelest impression that can be made on a young child is indifference, and it may be the most common. To ignore a child's need for love conveys to the heart that its need is not essential. Upon growing up such a child will find it very difficult to express love. In place of a warm outflow of feeling, he or she will feel cooler, more moderated emotions that too easily flickers and fails. Indifference has a long legacy." -Deepak Chopra


When a child grows up without love they end up having many difficulties in life. Sometimes parents do not show love because they do not know how. Their own parents did not demonstrate love to them. Or maybe love to them only meant providing food and shelter. But there was no warmth, affection or communication. Others are too busy trying to make ends meet, they do not give their children the attention they need. Many are more concerned with climbing corporate ladders or getting their ego needs met. I know some who are OCD cleaners of their home and neglect their children because of it. I do not write this to blame anybody. We became who we are in large part because of our parents. But they also became who they were in large part because of their parents. And it keeps going back to the beginning of time.

When most us came into this world we were programmed with false beliefs and rules that no longer fit with what humanity has evolved to. This is why there is so much chaos and confusion at this time. People are still trying to hold on to old ways of being when they no longer work. It is the main reason I advise people to ask spirit for help because the old rules and ways of doing things no longer work. If we do not ask spirit for help we'll keep trying anyway until something horrible happens and we are forced to pay attention.

We mainly need to give attention to our children. But not in the way most people think. In our society I have noticed that parents believe that by giving their children everything materialistic that they want, sending them to private school, and enrolling them in all the activities they want to be enrolled in, they are being good parents. Their heart is the in the right place, but in this new age, these things are not vital. What is needed is more love and attention. Time with the children. Kids are amazing, but many were born into families that are not conductive for their little selves to blossom.

Our society has failed and continues to fail children. It is most obvious in our school institutions. In other countries teachers get paid very well. In the United States teachers are paid very low salaries which do not compensate for all of the schooling, credentials, multiple tests, requirements, time volunteering, screening, and stress. Not even close. People in our country do not realize that teachers are watching over their most prized possesions, their children. The talented people who would make wonderful teachers choose different careers because they can not survive on a teacher's salary. Therefore, there tends to be a lack of quality teachers.


I write this article because I feel sadness for how our children are not given the proper tools they need. Not just to survive, but to thrive in the new world that is currently being born. I am not saying all households are unfit or that all teachers are lousy. But it should not be the norm that they are inadequate. Not in this day and age when there are so many techniques to use to be a better parent and teacher.

To those of you who are already concerned about not being a good enough parent and are truly committed to your children by giving them love, attention, and quality time, don't worry. Our kids do not expect nor require perfection. That is a good thing because I am not perfect and so far I have not met anyone else who is either. But we do our best and our true best is good enough for our kids.


"Ironically, it is just these children who grow up to crave love the most, but being insecure, feeling the need for defense beyond what is reasonable, they also pull away from commitment the fastest. Such people are not certain deep down that they could feel love, despite their craving for it. Even the most intoxicating romance will not be able to overcome a history of that places ego needs much higher than those of a relationship." -Deepak Chopra